elmo

On World Mental Health day, I had an interview and then cry-walked all around the park out of sheer anxiety even though the interview went quite well actually but I am really still oscillating between anxiety and anticipatory acceptance of whatever my fate will be 

I then listened to a podcast conversation between Laurie Santos and Dan Harris and Elmo about how Elmo focuses on noticing things around him to get out of his anxious thoughts, all the anxious thoughts that a red fictional furry being could possibly have 

What are all the blue things you noticed this week Elmo? Someone asks

Cookie monster, he says, and Grover, and blueberries and the blue sky on Sesame Street 

And I do quite agree actually, that the mere act of noticing and intentionally mentally documenting the way someone speaks, the glimmer in their eyes, the feeling of the first fall breeze on the nape of your neck, a cute guy's nose ring, a cute girl's hair clip, the poetry in every song that AUR puts out

It's alllllll good

Its all beautiful 

And it's okay to behold it, in fact it's beautiful to behold

Another very poignant Dan Harris observation is that the increase in anxiety and anxiety-related disorders is possibly secondary to a growing aversion to discomfort

I'm trying to be less averse but it's incredibly aversive