engineers

 I feel like I've been actively resisting this sense of urgency that I'm supposed to have. Life keeps moving really quickly, and deadlines and beginnings and endings are all chasing me at a speed with which I can't keep up. I've been going to these open air dance classes at the UN plaza, which always leave me feeling wonderful, kissed by the sun, enveloped by endorphins

I started going just because I needed a dance class. Like I actively felt my body yearning for a dance class, any dance class. And so I found this class, and when my sister was in town she went with me and it was supposed to just be a one-time thing, a fun way to spend a weekend, nothing else.

Fast forward 5 weeks later, and I cannot imagine a life in which I never took that class. The dancing is fantastic, but the people there are all so interesting and lovely to be around. There are these three guys in particular: a retired control systems engineer who knows almost every form of Latin/partner dance ever known to humankind, a software engineer/traveler/sculptor/mountain climber newly in town for a fancy programming job that I don't understand but respect deeply, and another very social software engineer who is obsessed with all things dancing and partying and spends most of his non-work awake hours partying and dancing. 

I always thought engineers were quiet and introverted, people who just kinda wanted to do their own thing and be left alone. My sister for example, likes to work from home, have as few social gatherings as possible, and spend her free time sewing beautiful clothes that few people get to see, honing her impeccable skincare routine for her beautiful face (that also few people get to admire), and identifying all the different birds that come visit her on her porch. She lives a quiet, rather solitary life that she absolutely loves.

But man, today after an interesting latin dance/arabic fusion class (?? idk what that was to be honest, but it worked) I stood there in the sun talking about the future of AI, the future of human life expectancies, and what it means to be truly happy. And the retired engineer and the mountain climber current engineer both had so many profound things to say. and for once I was actually speechless

there's another engineer i've met too, a potential romantic interest maybe, who plays the piano beautifully and has a very sweet and warm presence

lots of engineers everywhere

It feels like such a privilege to be here, to be alive and meet so many wonderfully brilliant and sweet people everyday. this class is a microcosm of what my life has been lately. I can't remember exactly where I read this, but there's something about how awe is a great happiness-inducer. Like if you just walk around and allow yourself to be in awe of the things around you, the people around you, the marvel of medicine and science and technology

that life feels exciting and full of potential. so sure, am I anxious about the future? of course (have you met me)
but also am I buzzing with the after-high of dancing with these wonderful humans for hours and hours over the past month

also yes
it makes me feel soothed, in a strange way. that whatever happens, there are good humans in the world and everything will be ok