Humility

 I've been thinking a lot about this article and specifically its last two paragraphs:

"We all carry wounds, and some of us carry wounds much graver than others. We confront obstacles, including unjust and senseless ones. We must tend to those wounds. We must push hard at those obstacles. But we mustn’t treat every wound, every obstacle, as some cosmic outrage or mortal danger. We mustn’t lose sight of the struggle, imperfection and randomness of life. We mustn’t overstate our vulnerability and exaggerate our due.

While grievance blows our concerns out of proportion, humility puts them in perspective. While grievance reduces the people with whom we disagree to caricature, humility acknowledges that they’re every bit as complex as we are — with as much of a stake in creating a more perfect union."

This article is such a beautifully succinct wake up call for our generation, especially for those of us that didn't grow up with social media and have had to learn the hard way, that it fosters a culture of snap-judgements, intolerance, and this need to marinate in self-indulgent outrage. Per this article, a lot of the way we govern ourselves and think about addressing social injustice is by "calling out" people, screaming louder and louder about everything that other people are doing wrong, waiting for our disdain and outrage to magically change the views of people in power.

I've noticed in my own life that the people I respect the most, the people who seem to get the most done, and contribute to this community in the most meaningful ways are generally the quietest, kindest, most patient and thoughtful people. Not the people arguing and screaming on Twitter, or the people sending long angry emails about the ways in which they've been wronged.

I think there is a place for self-advocacy, but I really don't think it works unless it comes from a place of good assumptions. The assumption that inherently the world is NOT out to get you. And that it is actually more effective to put others first, to put a community first and for one second stop thinking about your own needs. 

I find that recently, I am guilty of this myself. I have fallen into the trap of self-indulgent complaining. I've noticed that when I do feel indignant, that I have been wronged deeply by a person I loved and that "I didn't deserve it" and "how could he just leave me like that" that it comes from a place of complete ego. I am not perfect, and I am not entitled to anyone's time. I just am who I am, which is so insignificant in not just that person's life, but in the lives of so many people who are suffering in so many more heartbreaking ways. It feels so self-indulgent to continue to complain about my ex, or about other mundane school and life related things that affect me in such miniscule ways.

Because ultimately its selfish. Its a selfish, maladaptive thought pattern that I have unconsciously developed to comfort myself. I think sometimes we get so comfortable in living in our trauma that we never decide to step outside of it. Because we are so stuck in ourselves.

I hope that this year, I am able to step outside of myself. And realize that I am so insignificant to this planet (thankfully), and my current reality will also be so insignificant to my future.