intern year

I still am partial to Darwin's ideas that emotions preclude behavioral indicators of what an animal is likely to do next, and that if these signals don't contribute to that animal's survival, then that emotion may not survive the process of natural selection. It amazes me then that I still have feelings of envy, regret, sadness and anger all too often....with no real palpable benefit to my life. If anything, I think my internal stress and guilt for feeling the emotions that I do feel are likely to increase my changes of dying an early death, whether by an opportunistic infection or adrenal fatigue.

It's all really about the narratives that you tell yourself. You are victim to the stories to tell yourself, and even if you can't change anything at all...you still can change the person that you intend to be. History, no matter how ridiculous and incomprehensible, can still move you forward.

but you can't blacklist your problems away, and eventually it will come crashing down on you if you aren't mature enough to process your feelings and apologize to the people that you tore apart. cowards don't go very far