wings
The week before my Miserable Domesticated Feline test (more commonly known as the M-Cat) some extraterrestrial being decided to hit up the Downtown New Orleans Parking Lot Cafe for an evening meal.
My lucky car caught this being's eye. The creature scooped up my car, took a huge bite out of the bumper, decided it didn't taste very good, and finally stuck the car back down in its humble little niche.
I know this thanks to the note that I found, neatly wedged away between the windshield wipers of my mutilated vehicle.
"Dear Human, I'm sorry you own such a crappy car. Next time try adding a little lemon zest or something. Maybe the citrus will cut through the bitterness..I'm generally not a huge fan of Corolla bumpers anyways. Sincerely, Extraterrestrial Being (E.B.)"
I know what you're thinking. Damn, what a jerk. But Shreya, at least he left a note!
Yep, at least he left a note. Because that's what considerate extraterrestrial beings do. Unlike the idiot humans who parade around our parking lots, defacing cars and not writing "sorry here is my insurance info" notes.
Eh. Their loss. They had the one and only chance to get in touch with the world's most famous, most charming and beautiful singer-dancer-actress. They had a chance to beg for her forgiveness.
I'm kidding. Taylor Swift probably uses helicopters or something to get around anyways.
Either way, I've somehow survived the MCAT and finally got around to dropping my baby car off at the collision center to get a makeover. In the meantime, I'm being forced to rent and drive the most poorly designed car in the universe. The seat has this awful dip so my butt sinks in, and I have to sit up extra straight and practically tendu everytime I want to accelerate. This car was literally built for spineless people with extendable legs.
ONE DAY MY DREAMS WILL ALL COME TRUE. MY CAR WILL COME BACK AS GOOD AS NEW
....and I'll grow wings so that I never have to drive it again.
My lucky car caught this being's eye. The creature scooped up my car, took a huge bite out of the bumper, decided it didn't taste very good, and finally stuck the car back down in its humble little niche.
I know this thanks to the note that I found, neatly wedged away between the windshield wipers of my mutilated vehicle.
"Dear Human, I'm sorry you own such a crappy car. Next time try adding a little lemon zest or something. Maybe the citrus will cut through the bitterness..I'm generally not a huge fan of Corolla bumpers anyways. Sincerely, Extraterrestrial Being (E.B.)"
I know what you're thinking. Damn, what a jerk. But Shreya, at least he left a note!
Yep, at least he left a note. Because that's what considerate extraterrestrial beings do. Unlike the idiot humans who parade around our parking lots, defacing cars and not writing "sorry here is my insurance info" notes.
Eh. Their loss. They had the one and only chance to get in touch with the world's most famous, most charming and beautiful singer-dancer-actress. They had a chance to beg for her forgiveness.
I'm kidding. Taylor Swift probably uses helicopters or something to get around anyways.
Either way, I've somehow survived the MCAT and finally got around to dropping my baby car off at the collision center to get a makeover. In the meantime, I'm being forced to rent and drive the most poorly designed car in the universe. The seat has this awful dip so my butt sinks in, and I have to sit up extra straight and practically tendu everytime I want to accelerate. This car was literally built for spineless people with extendable legs.
ONE DAY MY DREAMS WILL ALL COME TRUE. MY CAR WILL COME BACK AS GOOD AS NEW
....and I'll grow wings so that I never have to drive it again.
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